I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
