Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the day after is always just damage control
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
