This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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