I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize