I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
