Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
