Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
