I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
