Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize