He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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