just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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