the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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