But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
