Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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