Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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