normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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