If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
