I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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