I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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