He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
