I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
