he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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