i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
