SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
