I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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