Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
