so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
