ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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