I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I CAN MOONWALK!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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