We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
