Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
