yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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