Welp...herpes.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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