Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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