Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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