Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize