just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
