he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
