she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
