Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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