Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
