So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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