we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
