Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize