Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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