This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
