I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
