i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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