the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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