We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee