He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works