the day after is always just damage control
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
