You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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