Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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