My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Panties = found
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