Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
