Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
