seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
