Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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