i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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