not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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