i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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