I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
