hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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