Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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